I had an amazing experience this morning that ended at approximately 06.40. It was so amazing, in fact, that as I sit here typing a little over four hours later, I am still trying to get my head around the whole business. I have had Sai dreams before, but I can honestly say that this experience was on a par with the time Sri Sathya Sai Baba plucked me from my physical body and carried me away on an astral journey back in December 2006.
Strangely enough some details of the dream are very vague, especially the early stages. But the main content remains very vivid in my mind. Because of the vagaries of the early part of the dream I will start this account by relating what my heart is telling me occurred. I was in a room that seemed quite small and I cannot remember the decor, but I must have been craving for Swami’s presence. I vaguely remember calling out for him and then being raised up fairly high off the floor and finding myself facing a picture of him that was on one of the walls. I became very excited about seeing Baba and even though the picture looked a bit un-Baba-like it was most definitely the God-man; with his orange robe and shock of black fuzzy hair. His face was kind of different but his eyes were so real. I do remember talking to him in a very enthusiastic way, when I look back now it was as though somewhere within me, at a very deep level, I knew he was coming. but within seconds my experience was over.
Now this is the bit that I remember very clearly. I was not happy with my experience being so short, but not in a negative way, and I started calling once again for Baba. I must have been calling with such enthusiasm because all of a sudden Swami was there. He was laying on a bed asleep and I appeared to be looking down at him. I enthused “wake up Swami, wake up!” He opened his eyes and within a split second we were standing face to face. We were so close you could have barely got a cigarette paper in between us. I did something next that under normal circumstances you would never do to an Avatar; I grabbed his right arm with my left hand as we faced each other. It was done in a nice way of course; I was so full of excitement. I said “I’ve been missing you” and “speak to me Swami, speak to me”, but Baba just looked at me deadpan. There was a great feeling of friendship between us that I could feel inside me, and I said to him “what’s up, cat got your tongue?” I seem to remember saying “cat got your tongue” to him again and this time he gave that little Swami half-smile; like a cross between a smirk and an impish grin.
Then he started speaking to me but I could only hear jumbled sounds coming out of his mouth that seemed distant and I was straining to try to understand him. It was almost like a jumbled radio broadcast, but right in the middle of the “noise” I made out the words “try not to worry so much”. The look on his face was the look of a loving father, mother, sister, brother and friend all rolled into one. He was as solid as solid can be and his form reminded me of how he looked back in the 1990′s. There was signs that he was beginning to age but he had this fantastic youthfulness about him. What was really apparent was that the whole experience was just so natural; a bit like making a cup of tea, it was almost as though it was expected that two friends would meet up and share a few moments of pure undiluted love. He was so non-judgemental; accepting me exactly as I am in spite of all my little faults; and the love between us was beyond mere words. Then it was all over…..
I suppose I should now say “and then I woke up”, but it wasn’t quite like that. It’s true to say that when the whole experience began it was most definitely a dream and I was certainly asleep. But as Swami was interacting with me I was wide awake, I simply had my eyes closed; so the whole episode was played out on the inner plane. When Baba had gone I just lay there in bed with my eyes closed; only opening them to look at the clock. When I did look at the clock it said 06.45, so I am guessing that I was laying there for at least five minutes before looking. What I found unusual was that I said to Swami “I have been missing you”. That is not an expression I would normally use; I would normally say something like “I miss you”, I missed you” or “you have been missed”. I believe there are a number of deeper, hidden messages in here for me to unravel, and I may share them in a future post if it seems appropriate.
Finally, there was one particular detail about Baba’s physical form that I will not share because I believe it to be very personal between Swami and I. But the reason for mentioning it is that Swami always works in ways that are very precise and literally everything with him has a meaning of sorts. I believe he gave that tiny bit of detail as a gentle reminder to me not to get attached to the form. I believe he came to me in that way because that is how I relate to him. But at the same time he did not want to divert my attention too far away from the “formless”, so he gave me a little reminder that the physical body will deteriorate over time.
Oh what an experience! How truly blessed I am! Thank you so much Baba!
Jai Sai Ram.